If You Must Be Without One
by ThickerThanLove
Summary: This was written as a Secret Santa gift for TMNT Loving Leo. I've never tried 2012 TMNT before so I hope I did well by them. When Tiger Claw threatens Leo's family, Karai teaches him a valuable lesson about leadership.


This was nothing like the stories he had read, nor the movies and episodes he had seen on TV. Leo had always found Captain Ryan's exploits to be amazing because no matter what the issue, what the conflict, he always managed to find a way out of it. Leonardo had watched the space captain conquer anything and everything—black holes, aliens, weather, time vortexes, it didn't matter, he always prevailed. Now, the teenager was quite aware that real life was not like his shows or movies but that didn't mean that he didn't try and find some motivation, some guidance from it.

Maybe he should not have put so much stock into it but now with Sensei gone…with Father gone…

Shaking his head quickly, Leo caught his labored breath in his throat, pressing against the nearby wall. Every crack of the stone, every shift of gravity dug into his shell, his arms, his legs, like glass. The mind numbing cold was not helping. Every breath that came from his throat escaped as a cloud of mist that seemed to zap his strength and endurance a little at a time. He didn't have time for this. He didn't have the resources for this. As it was, he was losing blood more quickly than he liked from a well-placed blow to his right arm.

Much as he wanted to say it was lucky blow, that now that he was Sensei, there was no way that Tiger Claw could have hurt him so badly, the truth of the matter was that the cold was slowing him down, his reflexes had been slowed and yes, he had gotten a bit overconfident.

Maybe a lot overconfident.

Could one really blame him though? He argued as he attempted to shifted his stance without sound. What normally would have been child's play was suddenly much more difficult with stiff muscles, slowed stamina and dinged pride. After all, he was the Sensei now. He had earned it and while he definitely did not think himself worthy of Father's spot, he was the best fighter out of his family. So, when he had heard of trouble by way of Tiger Claw near their home, he saw it to be his duty to handle it. It was now his job to defend it, and defend it, he would!

That had been his only purpose, to investigate and make sure their home was not going to be compromised. To drive off Tiger Claw and any little minions he still had loyal to him.

That had not been what he found though.

What he had found was that, yes, Tiger Claw was scouting out too close to their home for his comfort, but then he had overheard planning. It was perhaps planted (indeed, it was more likely than not that Tiger Claw had TRIED to make sure he had overheard) but the fact of the matter was that it had been a threat. A very strong and planned threat against his family. Not just one of them but all of them. Separate plans. Spread out plans. Plans that he likely should have listened more to, should have gotten more intelligence on.

The heart was very poor at listening to the head at times and after everything…after losing Father, hearing he was going to lose the others…

Leonardo had taken a page from Raphael's book and just charged. No real plan, no real strategy, no call for assistance. He'd just attacked, full force.  
Hence, here he was…bleeding from several wounds, nearly half-frozen and his T-Phone has long since been lost amid the snow below. Donnie was going to kill him.

That was assuming he managed to get out of this mess.

What was he talkin' about? Of course he would. He had brothers and a sister (or sisters, actually, given how close April was with them) to get back to. He had to make sure they stayed safe…

He had a home to protect.

He had a legacy to uphold, the legacy of his father and…

The harsh sound of claws on stone caught his attention and he steadied his breathing. Breathe slow, slow and quiet. Much as he hated hiding, much as he hating slipping away from a fight, he was also not a fool. The cold was slowing his reflexes. The blood loss had lessened his strength and he was on the defensive. Not a good position to be in when you were in your top form and as much as he liked to lie to himself, he knew he wasn't. He was likely not even at fifty percent, if he wanted to be point blank honest.

The sharp thrust of blade would have taken his head off if his reflexes had been any slower and as if was, he would have a lovely shallow scar across his cheek from it.

"Ugh!" He barely managed to block the second thrust of blade with his injured arm and a small knife he was never without and then the single eye of Tiger Claw was practically dissecting him. So much darkness in that gaze and so dismissive; he might as well have been a bug under the tiger mutant's boot. The foul breath in his face made his eyes water and the trembling of his muscles burned. Blade locked on blade and Leo locked his elbows in an attempt to stay firmly planted but it didn't do a lot of good. Tiger Claw easily overpowered him, physically, and this standoff was built entirely on bulk muscle.

"I found you." Tiger Claw's deep voice felt like fire on his cold skin and feet sliding against the icy roof of the building was not helping his stamina, it was not helping his endurance.

Need a position I can defend…

A sharp throbbing pain cut through his ribs when Tiger Claw took advantage of him being on the defensive and jabbed a short tanto into the tender flesh. White light exploded behind his eyes and it was only through muscle memory that he managed to roll away, knocking the tiger off balance, before the mutant could yank the blade back out. Much as it hurt, much as it stung and throbbed, it would be far more dangerous to pull the blade out and Tiger Claw had been milliseconds away from that. So, even though the throbbing and shooting pain felt like utter fire, he welcomed the pain. It meant he wasn't bleeding out.

Another sloppy dodge and Leonardo cursed Tiger Claw's endurance. Warm blooded versus cold blooded; uninjured versus wounded. He almost wished that Tiger Claw was like the others—cracking jokes, making comments. It was easier to distract an enemy that was already distracted but there was a reason this tiger was Shredder's right hand mutant. He was focused, determined and nothing was distracting him from that. As it was, he barely said anything. No gloating outside of that simple "found you." The blazing cold winter wind did nothing but make it harder and harder to keep his balance, to stay focused.

"So…even without Shredder, you don't know when to leave well enough alone." Leo drew one of his katanas and yes, it was totally his imagination that was making it tremble and shake. It was not his blood loss, it was not the cold, it was not the fear that had NOT taken his heart over. It was not the realization that maybe, just maybe, he might not make it home tonight. That he and Raph might not be able to break that sparring tie they had ended on last night when neither one of them could move anymore. That Donnie may not be able to completely bore him to tears by preaching about how their new security system and intricate details with which Leo could not hope to follow on the best day. That he might not be able to give Mikey feedback on that story he had been inking.

No, that wasn't acceptable!

Leonardo's heart and mind screamed that to not return home to his family, especially after the death of their father, was simply not tolerable!

His body had other ideas.

Especially when the blow from Tiger Claw cracked something in his left leg. When the sword swipe at him left a deep gash on his inner arm. When the dodge to save his neck from a severed carotid resulted in a large metal fist colliding with his temple. His vision spun and a jump back turned out to be the worst thing to do when the cracking stone of the old building gave way and the extra weight of his shell proved all that needed to knock his center of balance completely off. He tumbled and it was only a brief moment of 'oh, we're by the bay…' before shell hit thin ice and then burning water.

Ice water was always a danger but for a cold blooded turtle, it was nearly a death sentence. Leonardo barely managed to keep his body from instinctively breathing in at the shock of the temperature. His muscles were quick to tense, freeze and refuse to move not long after. Blinking upward, he could see the small hole where he had broken through the ice and he pushed, with all his might, trying to command his legs to kick, his blood to move, his body to go for the surface. Turtle or not, air was still required and when it had been forcefully kicked from your lungs, it was needed now!

Move! Move, I need to move! C'mon Leonardo, move! Father would not let something like THIS stop him—

Except, he had. Leo could debate and argue and deny all he wanted (and he had) but the basic facts had been that a physical injury had proven too much and Father had died. He had been faced with little choice. It had not been because Father was weak, it had not been out of cowardice, it had simply been physical adversary that overpowered the body's limitations. Leonardo had always viewed his father as invincible but when he had died after the invasion and then…again, for keeps, against Shredder…his mind still could not believe it. He still openly prayed that it was all a horrible dream that they would awaken from at any point. It helped get him through the harder of nights.

Denial eventually had to slip away into the recesses of his mind though, when reality forced him to see what was and not what he wished was. Much like Master Splinter surcumbed to his injuries, Leonardo was feeling his own body betraying him, despite his passionate pleas. While the mind could influence the body and indeed, was not to be underestimated, the limits of the body were still limits. His body's blood had slowed to almost a crawl and with a lack of oxygen, consciousness would only stay with him a little longer.

The sudden eruption of bubbles above him startled him if only for a moment and he had barely had time to collect his thoughts enough to wonder if Tiger Claw was coming to finish the job before Karai's face faded into view. She was not in her mutated form and she grasped hold of him, hard, kicking for the surface. He was heavy normally and with him nearly being a dead weight, it was a wonder she was able to break the water line in time for him to inhale. The clouds forming from their breath was a welcomed sight and Karai made her way up onto the ice, cursing under her breath as the wet skin instantly stuck and then tore when she forced herself forward. Leonardo, being exposed to the cold air, was nearly a statue but at least he was still conscious. Managing him to the shore, Karai set her eyes on him, narrowed in frustration.

"What the hell were you thinking? Moron!" She snarled at him, inadvertently drawing up her snake fangs and letting her tongue hiss through them.

"T-tiger Claw…" he tried, "He…"

"He'll be lucky if he doesn't bleed to death after the blade to the back I gave him." She smirked "Assuming that Raphael and the others don't skin him alive." She rolled her eyes and stood, forcing Leonardo to his feet and giving him a moment to try and force movement back. "What were you thinking Leonardo? Random crazy stunts are Raphael's department."

Well, no argument to be made there. "He…threatened the others…you.." He closed his eyes, focused his breathing to try and force his half frozen body to respond. "I had to do something."

Karai made a comment in Japanese that Leonardo did not catch entirely but he was fairly sure it was a comparison of his head to some animal excrement. At the moment, what could he say against it? He had broken all of his own rules, hadn't he? Rushing in, not waiting, not making a plan, letting emotion rule his decisions. All of those were things that he always preached about. Yet he had broken them. All out of fear in a single moment. Fear of losing the one thing…the single solitary thing left that gave his life meaning.

Family. His family. He couldn't lose them again and he had reacted. Suddenly, without thought and here they were…with his family ending up coming to save him.

Karai eyed him critically as they made their way away from the sounds of battle and towards the relative heat of the underground. She was not exactly in great shape herself, bleeding and now trembling with cold and ice. "I..I'm sorry, Karai. I..never..never meant for you all to have to…" he sighed "Leadership escapes me sometimes, I guess. Despite how much…I…I…"

"Oh, Leo, don't start that up again." Karai interrupted, disturbed by both the content and the rattling of his teeth. "You're not perfect, you screwed up. Learn from it and move on."

"I can't just …just…do that." He argued, leaning on her more than he liked to admit. "I…I'm…supposed to protect…you all. I…didn't plan. I didn't…strategize…I just…re..reacted."

Karai stopped walking, turned, locked eyes with him. "Okay, will you shut up a second and listen?"

The seriousness in her tone made him stop talking, even if the chattering of his teeth couldn't.

"You're a great leader. You make mistakes but you've got the overall idea down. You do better when you trust yourself and not try to act like Father or some stupid TV show…"

"Space Heroes is not stupid…" he managed but she wasn't finished.

"If you weren't a good leader, Leo, you wouldn't have reacted to us being threatened." She challenged. "A leader takes care of the people that they guide and that's why you got so pissed off that you stopped thinking straight." She stopped again, this time pulling around to where the Shellraiser was sitting, shrouded in shadow. The warmth was deeply welcomed and when she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, she slid to her knees in front of him, still refusing to break the eye contact. "You want some actual advice? Like, real, leader advice?"

He nodded to her, and blinked in shock when she reached over and hugged him, tight.

"Good leadership is a powerful combo of heart and strategy. But if you have to be without one…be without the strategy."


End file.
